Thoughts

For some reason my mind has been working in overtime. I recently read about a mom who was 18 weeks along and found out her son has transposition of the great arteries and VSD (maybe some other issues but just now getting information) and it really got my mind working. I wonder why it is that no one was able to see Bryson's heart conditions. I don't blame anyone and I know that "plumbing" issues are hard to see, they only look for the four chambers and leave it at that. But my, oh my, how things would have been different if Bryson had not been in "profound shock" when he was airlifted to the Children's Hospital. I just know the story would have been a different one but I am also happy with the outcome of the "real story".
I also recently read on a person's blog (you know me, soooo obsessed with reading blogs!) and she made a reference to the fact that she thinks about her child's condition and hospital stay EVERY, SINGLE DAY! EVERY, SINGLE DAY! and her child had been completely healed for years, close to five. And I thought to myself...I do that...I think about it every, single day...without fail. And somedays it is all I can think about (especially at night). I find myself wanting to talk about it, all the time...but it isn't appropriate to say, "oh, when my child was in the hospital this happened...and on and on". And I know it isn't particularly healthy for me to do that either. The thoughts aren't all bad...at least once a day...I just look at him and kind of smile and melt inside because he is SUCH a blessing. Honestly! But then I fixate on other things. I will explain it like this...it runs like a movie through my head. I can see it, I can smell it...it is like it happened yesterday. I wouldn't say it upsetting as much as it is time-consuming. I don't understand WHY I think about it all the time! And I know that people probably get so tired of me starting sentences with, "When Bryson was in the hospital...." but I can't help it. It seems like it defines my life but mostly it defines who he is. I once read an article where they stated that you have to be careful not to let your child's heart condition define who they are, don't let that be all that they are. I pray I don't do that! I am not sure how to handle it once he understand and I can tell him about it. I am afraid it will define him and me forever and that I will never be able to push those memories out of my head. I pray that I stop and fill my head with the wonderful memories that we are currently making. I wish there was ONE DAY that I didn't think about it, just one day!
Bryson is as always complete cuteness....with a little toddler tantrum thrown in. He is talking more and more...and eating like a horse! He is the master of the IPhone and IPad, I mean seriously! The kid has mad skills! He got new shoes in the mail yesterday and he could not have been more excited. He wanted them on right away and the only way I could get them off of him was to put him in the bath. He is so silly!
Riley is well.....Riley. He is always has his nose in a book or a finger on his IPad. Or watching a football game! The other day he was watching the Ravens vs Texans game and he was wearing a Ravens jersey and cheering for the Texans! Dork! He is currently reading Old Yeller at school and he informed me that he skipped ahead and read the end to see what happens to the dog. Ugh!
Kory is doing great. He is loving computer science at school and I think he has found his career choice. I love having a computer person in the family...all we need now is a mechanic and air conditioner fixer and a contractor...and a chef....:)
We are busy but happy. We are looking forward to spring and all the warm weather and we are dreading summer and the TERRIBLE HEAT! We also have some awesome vacations planned this summer and I cannot wait for them! :) :) :) :)