"The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched-they must be felt with the heart." Hellen Keller

Monday, December 13, 2010

He's a MANIAC!

Let me just start this post by saying.....I have never seen a child fight so hard to live for the first five months of his life and then decided to spend the days thereafter trying to kill himself!
Seriously!!!!! Ok! So I SWEAR that I watch this child when I am with him, like a hawk in fact. He has his very own "cage" in our living room and if I leave the room I take him with me or let him follows. Also, he is not only officially walking, he is RUNNING, SPRINTING in fact with his heads held high above his head! He looks like Clark Griswold running towards the amusement park in the first "National Lampoon's Vacation" movie. He is a mad man! So far in the past few weeks he has
-attempted to eat a small glass ornament. He managed to break it in his mouth, YES I KNOW RILEY AND I WERE HORRIFIED! but I was able to fish it all out right away.
-he somehow found a very small glasslike shell that we have NO IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM and he chewed it up and ate it. Yes, he swallowed this one.
-he managed to get on top of the lego table, stand up and take off running at a high speed. I barely caught his feet as the front of his body scraped down the side of the table and left a NASTY strawberry. Did I mention that he was naked as well??
-He climbed up on top of a toy and starting taking pictures and signs off the wall (some that were lower to the ground)
I could go on for hours! Seriously!!!!!!
But he is sweet as they come too! In the mornings he LOVES to hold his babies close to him and snuggle them and he loves to sit in my lap on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons. If he is tired he nuzzles up against me like a cat. And I tell you, when he smiles....I swear angels sing. He has the BEST smile I have ever seen. And, giggle.....oh the giggles that this kid lets out! He has a good, hearty belly laugh too but those are saved exclusively for Riley.
He is working me! Working me hard! I spent this past weekend with him literally wrapped around my leg or hip, like an animal. The boys were gone and he wanted me ALL TO HIMSELF! We did have a good time but I believe that perhaps once, maybe twice I used the term, "sucking the life from me!" :) I really am enjoying my time with him! He is such a ball of energy and fun! As everyone says, "I am not sure what we did before he came!"
Christmas is only 12 days away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEKKKKK!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Isn't it funny how we change? How our lives change? How hard change is? How sometimes all we want is change! Before Bryson was born I was kind of a "safety first" person. I wouldn't say I was the most reserved person but I had lived in my hometown my entire life, and that was good for me. I was "comfortable"! Comfort was my stability. I have lived here all 34 years of my life and I have had the same job since high school. Weird, right? Seriously, no changes for me! I was afraid to drive anywhere. It was one of my biggest fears. However, I had a sick child, very sick. I was stuck in a totally unfamiliar town living without my other two children, counting on strangers to save his life. I had no choice but to "grow up" really fast. Granted, it isn't like I am a teen but I was living as if I was in some ways. I had no choice at some point but to drive in Dallas (scary as hell at first)...then I had to learn to drive in Dallas by myself, then I had to drive from my hometown to Dallas, at one point I was staying in a hotel in Dallas by myself. If you would have asked me if I would ever do that I would say, NO WAY! I had to become an advocate for my son. I had to talk to doctors in a way I was not used to, being much more assertive. I had to realize that I wasn't that little girl anymore who just took what I was given and said, "thank you". I had to deal with emotions I NEVER dreamed of having. I had to make decisions for my family that I NEVER thought would come about. Mark and I were tested beyond belief in our marriage. I was in situations with family members that proved to be devastating. I had literally had no major changes in my life in 33 years. And boy EVERYTHING changed in a blink of an eye...not to mention that my grandpa and grandma died right before Bryson was born. Change....it was a coming for me. Now.....now that I am looking at it from the outside and now that I am at a different place in my life.....I see it. I see that I was so fearful before...so guarded, and now, I feel virtually fearless. I feel like I could take on the world! And I am ready for more change. My family is too! I can't say a lot right now, because I don't know a lot but it might involve a move....not sure where, not sure when. But it is nice to look forward to change, rather than fear it!
Oh, and before I go....Bryson is TALKING! He says, "mama" and "dada" and "riley" (kory is not happy about being left out of his vocabulary, but it will happen!) he says "dog" and I think that is it. It is hard to understand him sometimes but he is a chatterin' little thing! He is still not sleeping at night. He still wants the bottle at night. He is even up to wanting two full bottle at night! I hate to cut him off though because honestly he is on a learning curve. He just got the bottle and just got to eat so I can't cut him off. Plus they want him so very fat and this is the way to do it. He does sleep late on the weekend and for that I am SO GRATEFUL! As of December 17th me and the kids are off for two weeks and I am so glad! Can't wait!!!!! Christmas is going to be AWESOME! If Bryson even sees toys on tv he starts yelling and grunting. That kid loves him some toys, and I am MORE than happy to oblige! Oh, and for any of the nursing staff at Children's who are reading. I lied! I told you all that I would NEVER spank him. Well, I have! I know, it is terrible! It isn't like I have beat him, just a little smack on a covered leg or behind...and only a few times. But he knows and it makes him mad. He even hit me back one time and grunted. Turns out that he is heading towards those terrible twos!!!!! I thank God every day for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

hello again!

Thank you to the people who got in contact with me regarding the blog. I guess I am just one of those people who needs an audience! Don't we all!
Our Thanksgiving was certainly not the best Thanksgiving, but it certainly wasn't the worst. I think Thanksgiving will always be different for me than it once was. Thanksgiving last year was honestly the worst time of my entire life. Bryson was at his sickest and we were in a struggle of what to do. I will remember that every November, no matter what I do. With that, I also remember how very thankful I am! So thankful for my sweet children, family and many friends!
We drove to Brownwood on Wednesday before Thanksgiving and Bryson started running fever that afternoon and was just sick. I really thought it as his throat and the next day I knew for sure by the grimace when he went to eat anything. We ate Thanksgiving lunch and then hurried back to Odessa to take Bryson to the ER. He screamed all the way home. The visit to the ER was short and sweet, which I love. I always like to see the surprise on medical staff's faces when I explain his medical history. They look at me like I am just full of bull!
He slowly got better and has been super clingy. No more "sleeping through the night!" now. He has gotten into the habit of waking up in the middle of the night again and so here we go.
OH, I forgot to share something super-duper cool! Bryson is walking! Oh, he thinks he is BIG stuff toddling around everywhere. He gets up and gets started and just smiles at me and puffs out his chest. It is so cute! He started walking the day after his 14 month birthday. Pretty good for a kid who layed flat on his back for the first 5 months or more of life, pretty good indeed!
And, in case I hadn't mentioned it before, he is so smart! Yea, got it from me! He has seen me blow on food at restaurants to give him so now he blows (more like "spits") on his food too. He is an ornery, rotten little thing!!!
Those other two kids are good. Just kidding! No, they are good. Riley is reading his books up a storm, he loves to read and Kory is playing the guitar up a storm. They are both doing really well in school and so far, (shall I even say it), this year there hasn't been much drama concerning school. I sure hope that continues!
I am so ready for the holidays and we found all of Bryson's Christmas stuff from the hospital. It is hard to believe that he spent Christmas in the hospital. I still feel bad for not being there with him on that day, but I had to think about Kory and Riley too and Bryson will never remember that, but I will. Anyway, we found a bear and some ornaments and a card that were given to him by JoJo. For those of you who don't remember she was his neighbor in the CICU and she died on January 3rd, the day before she was due to go home. It hurt to see those things and it brought back a lot of memories of people who will be missing their sweet babies on Christmas, either because they are gone from this earth, or stuck in hospitals. I am so thankful we are going to be home and it is going to be the best Christmas. OH, and we hung up the infamous "First Christmas" stocking that Bryson had in the hospital (thanks again Aunt Rita!) and we hung it up next to his new stocking that was made by Mark's grandma (thanks to you Sissy!) The gifts are bought, the tree is trimmed and we are all safe and warm and snug in our house. What could be better!?!?!?!?!