"The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched-they must be felt with the heart." Hellen Keller

Sunday, March 3, 2013

hey there

Well so much for keeping up with my blog. We have been really busy but very happy with our move so far. The kids really love it here and we have had lot of friends and family come to visit so we have enjoyed that very much. Kory has a serious girlfriend whom I LOVE. Riley has lots of friends who are in the neighborhood and fill the house with laughter and Bryson is just goofy and funny as can be. The poor kid is dying to have a baby. LOL! He constantly begs me for one. Even today we went to eat and he spotted every baby in the place and even insisted we stop and talk to one. So I politely asked if we could see the baby and he reached out his hand and got really close to her and she touched his face. It was so cute and he was soooooo excited about it. I told him he was gonna have to settle for a puppy cause we were not gonna be getting any babies. I wish I knew someone who had a baby that I could "borrow". He has even said he will feed it and play with it....but no diaper changes. I am also happy to report that Bryson is officially potty trained. SOOOOOOO glad for that! Whew! In April we will be attending the Childrens Medical Cardiac Intensive Care Unit Picnic. This is the picnic I mentioned before where we will get the opportunity to meet back up with former nurses and doctors that were part of Bryson's recovery. I am so very excited! It has a superhero theme and so he is going to be wearing his cape. We plan on taking some donations up to the floor. I just can't go there and not take something. So many people did so much for us. I have tried to take donations to the hospitals in our area but honestly they don't even act like they need them. I even tried to volunteer my time and no one will even call me back. Guess it just isn't meant to be. I did decided I am going to start actively looking for a job this summer, something in the school district (maybe teaching) so I can have all the same days as my kids. Bryson is signed up for Mother's Day Out and starts in late August. He is so excited about getting to be around other kids. He is getting big way too fast....they all are!!!!!!! Until next time!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year

It has been such a long time since I have written. I figured New Year's Day was as good a day as any. I had thought about just not writing anymore, not knowing if anyone was reading but then I realized that it is nice to have it all on record so that you can look at it later. It is kind of like a journal and I think I will be glad later that I did it. So many things happen with the kids and so I forget things. They are so funny right now, all so different from each other. As you all know we have relocated to the Houston area and we are loving it. It is so very different from West Texas but in a good way. We have so much more to do and there are trees and some water, it rains often, it is great. The kids are settling in really great as well. Kory has some new friends and is enjoying high school. I can't believe he is a Junior already, so strange. Riley really loves it here. He just fit right in like he had lived here his whole life. And Bryson, well, he is happy as a lark because his momma is at home with him all the time. Staying at home is a first for me and honestly it has been really hard to get used to. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, but it is just different than anything I have done. We have worked on potty training and I am happy to report he is doing well. And starting this month I am going to put him in some kind of pre-school program or Mother's Day Out. It isn't for me, it's for him. He really needs to socialize and learn some new things. He is a sponge and so now is the time. And what a sponge he is....he repeats every bad word that comes out of my mouth. That has been an adjustment for me! LOL! I needed to stop cussing anyway so there is my opportunity. Anyway, I am hoping for some great things in 2013. 2012 was a good year but a pretty wild one. I am ready to settle in and grow some roots. We are looking forward to the kids participating in some fun activities (MOD and Ecobots for Riley) and we will be making a trip back to West Texas in the Spring, get Riley signed up for football (HECK YA!), plan some vacations, swim in our pool non-stop......busy, busy, busy. Oh and I forgot to mention that we took Bryson to a really amazing doctor at Texas Childrens (who will now be his cardiologist) and he said that Bryson's surgery was one of the best repairs he has ever seen. He said to treat him like a normal boy and not to expect him to have any more procedures. He even said he would see him in a year but after that he might not have to be back for 2-3 years. Such a relief! I am so proud of him! He is certainly not a baby anymore. He is becoming a little boy right before my eyes. And Kory is becoming a man as well. And Riley isn't far behind. My babies are getting big too fast!!!! Stay tuned as I will be writing more and including pics! Happy New Year!!!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

I am seriously behind in blogging. It isn't because I haven't had the time per say, just not sure what to say. In 16 days from now I will be packing up my kids, my hubby and the whole life I have ever known to move across the state, 9 hours away from the town I have lived in my whole life. Crazy! I can't believe it is happening! It got me thinking about courage, about fear, about what life hands us and how we handle it. Rewind three years ago. I had lived in the same town my whole life, worked the same job for 18 years (since high school) and I hadn't drove anywhere outside of that town by myself EVER. I hadn't done much of anything by myself. Then on September 17th, my whole life changed....my entire world as I had known it was turned upside down...enter the fear. Since that day (in a matter of a year) I have done the following: 1) drove to Dallas all by myself 2) stayed in a hotel all by myself for several days 3) took on my son's case and became his voice when he didn't have one 4) learned more medical jargon and medical procedures than I EVER imagined 5) learned how to insert and operate a feeding tube and on and on and on It is amazing what courage you can have in the face of fear.....what you can be motivated to do when you have no choice. With all that being said I have realized that all this prepared me for this move...for this HUGE life changed. If I had not done all of those things there is no way that I could have gone on to this endeavor. No way at all! As I sat pregnant with my youngest, working at the same job, living in the same town, doing the same thing day in...day out...I could have never imagined that three years later my life would be so different. It is scary, it is exciting. It is exhilarating. I won't lie, some days I wake up scared out of my mind...but most days I look forward to all that is in store. For the first time in years I may have the opportunity to stay at home with my kids...for a while at least. I have never had that opportunity before and I look forward to it. It will all be so different but it is time. God has been preparing me for this, preparing my kids and family as well and everyday I see signs that this is the right thing to do. My next blog will be written from our new home, many, many miles away from here. God bless! Stay tuned!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012


My how things can change on a dime. I just opened the blog and noticed the pictures of my classroom......Well, what WAS my classroom. I feel like I may never teach. So, now things have changed, immensely. I look back and realize that since February of 2009 my life has been a series of changes, big changes. I feel like I am riding on a roller coaster. In that time I have my lowest of lows...and my highest of highs. Of course, February 2009 is when I found out (shockingly) that I was pregnant with B. Fast forward through a very hard pregnancy, the shocking birth, the 5 month hospital stay and all that encompassed that. I came home with a medically fragile, delayed baby on a feeding tube. We get over that hurdle, we move in a more expensive house. I lose the job I have had for 18 years and Mark has just taken a lower paying job to stay at home more. We have a rough financial year and lots of changes. I work on getting my teaching certificate, fail my test by one question, take a much lower paying job. I finally pass my test, muddle financially through the year and finally get a teaching position (after many interviews and sleepless nights). And now.....drum roll please.... We are moving to the Houston area! Mark got transferred and our house is on the market. Please insert stress here! So I had to turn down my teaching position...which by the way I spent tons of money buying things for teaching. We have limited time to sell our house, find one in the Houston area and get going before schools starts. And, the market here is supposed to be so strong but I have had one whole person come to look at my house. I am starting to freak out. I just keep praying and knowing it is God's will and he has a plan for us. As long as we are together, we are fine. I hate to say it but when I freak out about anything I say, "we have been through so much worse!" Nothing could compare to Bryson's diagnosis and hospitalization at this point. So, as of this Friday I am unemployed....unfamiliar territory for me. I am looking forward to the time with my kids but I also know when I am not busy my mind tends to go nuts thinking about things. I have plans to clean out things and get prepared for the move. I know in my heart of hearts that God truly does have a plan for us. I am so very thankful for my family, for this opportunity to better our future, for the chance to enjoy my kids for a while. We are so very blessed! I ask that if you can please add us to your prayers. This is a big, big move and I would appreciate it! Thanks and I will be back with updates!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Can't believe it has been almost an entire month since I blogged! I sometimes think about shutting down the blog because I am not sure that anyone really reads it. But then I realize that I am so bad about taking pictures and remembering certain details of things that I am glad I keep my blog so that I have a record. Life is so busy, it is hard to remember every, amazing detail. Ok, so let's start off with some exciting news.... Drum Roll Please!................. Can anyone guess what this is???
It is my CLASSROOM! Yah! I got a job teaching kinder! I am so very, very excited! It is nearly all I can think about! Then, occasionally, the fear creeps in and I think, "WAHHHH! I'm gonna be a teacher! WAHHH!" Seriously, I am beyond excited! Now let me tell you about our amazing trip to Dallas! Daddy couldn't come because he was out of town so it was me and my mom and the three smelly boys. They had the best time! I don't believe I have ever eaten so much in my life. I thought to myself, isn't it funny that when you are young your trips revolve around partying or doing crazy things (i.e. roller coasters and concerts and bungee jumping) but once you hit a certain age, or a certain number of children, your trips revolve around EATING. We are definitely at that stage in our lives. LOL! We drove halfway on Thursday night since we didn't want to have to get up SO early on Friday to get to Dallas and we ate at a restaurant in Abilene's called "Belle's Chicken" Oh my goodness, best food I have EVER eaten. I tell people if I am ever stuck on death row, for my last meal, I'm ordering food from Belle's. Homemade fried chicken, homemade yeast rolls, green beans, corn, gravy, potatoes...all served cafeteria style. SO GOOD!!! We drove straight to Children's on Friday and took Bryson to see the train. He loved it!
It was so strange to be a true VISITOR. When we came in they asked us a TON of questions about our health and we had to bathe in hand sanitizer and we were only allowed to go to the train. So strange! I feel like we once had the run of the place. Everyone showed up and they were so happy to see Bryson. He, on the other hand, could not have cared less and didn't understand why people kept kissing and hugging him and taking pictures with him but he was very good and cooperated. I have to say, I am so blessed that he remembers not one thing from Children's or his time there. Seriously, what an incredible blessing! We handed over the check and took pictures and visited. It was short but very sweet! It felt so good to be able to give the money to them. I would give them everything I had if I could. I really wish that I lived there and could volunteer, it is just such an amazing hospital...full of amazing people!
I can't wait to see them all again in the Spring for the picnic!!! Then we headed to Great Wolf Lodge. I love this place but will not stay there on a weekend again. SO BUSY! Friday was much, much better than Saturday. Bryson loved the lobby. It does have a really nice "feel" and lots to look at. He would trot around like he owned the place. He went on and on about how he wanted to go into the waterpark and he lasted a whole........40 minutes. LOL! It was just an overload of the senses and too much water being sprayed and dumped on the head. He doesn't mind being wet but doesn't like water on his head so much. I think he will enjoy it much more next year. Riley LOVED IT! Kory....not so much but he put on a happy face for Riley. He is 16 so I expect it! We played for a while and had a nice dinner at Great Wolf's restaurant.
The next day we swam even more and then we headed out to have some more excitement. We had one heck of a crab feast and it was soooooo good!
We came upon the Grapevine Festival and it was sooo much fun! We didn't have a stroller but it turned out ok because Bryson just ran around and then when we were done he passed SMOOTH out.
Poor kid! But he had so much fun! We all did. We will FOR SURE be going back there!
Saturday night we met with family we haven't seen in FOREVER and had the best time. Bryson has a cousin that is just almost the same age as him, her name is Anzley. They had the biggest time playing and chasing each other. He was so excited to have someone to play with. It amazes me (but I'm not sure why) how much he LOVES to play with other kids. I guess because I don't see him do it a lot but I just don't remember my other kids loving it so much. Probably because they were forced to do it from birth on because of daycare. Anyway, it was such a great time! Here they are together.
The next day was Riley's 11th birthday. He and I got up early and tried to beat the rush to the pool to play for a little while. It was a lot of fun because it was just me and him...we don't get that often enough. I wish I could devote alone time to each child equally and to my hubby as well but that sure doesn't work out that way! Then, guess what we did.....you guessed it....we ate! We pigged out on wings at a place right near TCU. it was sooooooo good!!!!
I had to laugh because, of course, Riley dumped chicken wings in his lap. And, his shorts were on inside out. This kid is always a hot mess! I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I have to remind him to zip his fly EVERY SINGLE MORNING! Anyway, here he is all a mess and we find a bakery to get birthday cupcakes and wouldn't you know it is super fancy, full of super fancy people. And then there is me, in my hat and sunglasses, no makeup, no nothing...and Riley with chicken wing sauce on various parts of his face and splattered all over his inside-out shorts. We are a motley crue! I never deny that! But seriously we had the best weekend! So much fun! I can't wait for more trips. I plan on really enjoying the next few months. I work at my current job until the very end of June, and then in July a short vacation and I start training and decorating my classroom. It will be crunch time and I know my nervousness and anxiety level will be high so I am trying my very best to enjoy right now! Will post more pictures soon. We have a river vacation, a beach vacation and a lake vacation coming up. As you can see, we like water! The truth is we relax more in those situations. We have done plenty of the "OMG, gotta fit it all in vacation!" and we come home exhausted. Vacations are meant to provide relaxation and that is our focus this year! God knows we deserve it! :) Yall have a great summer.....see ya soon!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Ok, so I spoke a little too soon about the air condtioner. It was actually another week before we really had air conditioning. SUCH a nightmare! I had to post a picture of Bryson's fortune from his fortune cookie the other night.
Boy, nothing could be more true! My fortune cookie, on the other hand, was really off!
Um....yea, not gonna happen! The closest I come to sports is "sporting" a hat on the weekends. However back to Bryson's fortune. He is really such a joy in our lives. I cannot tell you how we EVER lived without him. He is so silly and funny and sweet. He likes to hide from me when I come home at lunch and jump out and scare me. He likes to wear his heart cape backwards so that it just looks like a giant bib. He just learned the words "poo poo" and everytime he says it he blushes from head to toe and hides his face. He puts on his dinosaur feet house shoes and goes around the house with his eyes squinted like Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" and growls, "I'm MEAN!" When you get up from any seat in the house he runs over and sits there and just grins. And this kid, I swear he has twice as many teeth as a normal person. And he has dimples (just slightly) and they are so cute. I think it looks like he has a lot of teeth because he has such a wide mouth. Everything about the kid is cute...from his dimples to his slightly curled blonde locks. He is such a joy! It is unimaginable that there was ever a time that he might not be with us. Riley is, well, he is a Riley. He is doing great at school. He even got accepted into the gifted and talented program. I am so proud of him. He is avid reader and an avid eater too. He keeps me on my toes! Kory is doing great too. He is, of course, acting like a 16 year old and asking for a fancy, new car and somedays he speaks to me non-stop and other days he doesn't say two words to me. Ahhh, the joys of teenagers. But honestly, when it comes to him, I am so blessed. He is a great kid. I love it because at night all the boys just wrestle and fight and giggle. I love that! I love to watch them together. They love each other so much! Here is a picture of Bryson with his cousin Yubin. He is the newest addition to our family. My brother and his wife adopted him from Korea. He is so cute and full of personality!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I haven't written lately because I don't really have any great news to write about. Things are better than before....we went without air conditioning in the house for two weeks but now have air conditioning and WOW, it is wonderful! I am not sure how we ever lived without it! This past Friday Bryson got really, really sick and I had to take him to the ER in the middle of the night. It was a nightmare! He had strep! They gave him a shot and some antibiotics and he is much better. Bless his heart, he was so sick! And the doctor at the ER was a jackass! I mean here is a kid with a heart condition and sick as a dog and do you know he didn't even listen to his heart or lungs or anything. He was spending far too much time griping at him and saying, "there is no reason for you to be screaming." I wanted to say to him..."he has been through more in his short life than you will EVER know, and he has every damn right to scream!" UGH! So frustrating!
I went today and signed Bryson up for Mother's Day Out for next fall. I am excited and nervous and all those things! I know it will be wonderful for him to be around other kids. He loves to play with other kids! And, he needs the help in speech I think. He grunts a lot instead of talking because we do all the talking for him and we jump at his ever demand. I know we shouldn't but it is really hard not to coddle him after everything he has been through. Plus, I am thinking it would help with using the potty too. Maybe if he sees others using it he will as well. BUT, on the same hand I worry about the GERMS! UGH! I know he needs to build up his immunity but I hate having him be sick and I know that is what is going to happen. It will be great, it will finally give us the "push" to let him be a toddler instead of a baby and it will make him see how other toddlers act as well. I will say that my nephews came in to visit this weekend and Bryson played really well with my nephew who is about 8 months younger. Even when he wasn't feeling good he was sweet and played nice. He doesn't know to be pushy or take things away so much because no one at our house takes away his toys. Mother's Day Out is going to be a huge learning curve for us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have some great memories in the making coming up. We are fixing to be headed to Dallas to take the money that was raised on Bryson's behalf. They are going to give us a tour of the hospital (the new parts) and we will do a check presentation thing and see all of our old doctors and nurses. I am super excited! Then we are going to go to the Great Wolf Lodge for Riley's birthday. Bryson has never been and I know he is going to be soooooo excited! It should be a lot of fun!
Then in May and June the job search starts for me!!!! As you may or may not know, I have my certification and I am ready to teach and so I am going to start applying for jobs for the next school year. I am excited and nervous all at the same time but I know this is the right thing for me. I know it is a stressful job but at the same time such a rewarding job. One teacher gave me the best advice....she said, "some days are stressful, but I never wake up and dread coming to work...I love it and I love the kids!" It will be good! My life has been such a roller coaster for so very long it seems. I sure would like some normalcy, some routine. I had the same job and essentially the same life for 18 years...day in...day out. And I remember complaining that I was bored and I needed a change. Well Lord, I got the point. I am bored no more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Yall be good! Love yall!