FUNK!

The title of the blog best describes me right now. I'm in.....a funk! I am not sure why. I have some suspicions but not sure exactly which one it is. Is it because it is the Christmas season and as of late I have heard so many "sad stories" from people? I am sure my obsession with blogs of sick kids doesn't help in this department. Is it money? We all lack in this department during the holiday season as well. Is it hormonal? Sorry, that may be too much information but it does seem that my PMS is RAGING! I had my tubes tied after Bryson and it seems my moods have gotten crazy as of late. For those of you who have not take care of the "baby factory" I would not recommend tying your tubes. Many problems follow after....there is even a syndrome for it. I forget the acronym but I do have MANY of the symptoms. Is it my job??? I do miss my other job like crazy! And honestly I am soooooo bored at this new job! Sometimes there is work to do but oftentimes, there is NOTHING and it drives me INSANE! I have too much time to think! Think about all I could be doing at home that is! Needless to say my life has changed considerably in the last few years. And we seem to have lost touch with a lot of friends as well. I find myself inviting friends over, planning parties and such but I am also starting to see that is never reciprocated. That never use to bother me before but now I am starting to see it more and more and frankly I am tired of that as well. I think my days of trying to keep friendships together and being the active part of the relationship are over. My time is so limited as it is so I need to spend any time left over with my family....who by the way, are all doing great. Another reason I can't figure out this funk. Everyone is great and happy but my usual optimistic attitude is dampered. I feel like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh and that if you looked at me from a certain angle you would be able to see the little black rain cloud over my head. I find myself worrying about really stupid, illogical things. If I have a strange pain, I wonder if I have cancer. If Bryson has a weird rash, I wonder if he has the flesh-eating bacteria. I wonder too much.....too loud! I am really hoping this week goes by extra fast because then I am off of work for a couple of weeks and will be smack-dab in the middle of the distraction of Christmas and company and I think that is what I need. Distractions! Sweet toddler kisses! late morning coffee in my pajamas! Hopefully it will be just what the doctor ordered! :)