I'll have my cake and eat it too!!!

Oh where to start!!!! Bryson is soooo great! I cannot tell you what a different baby he is without that tube. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it was for him. He is a tiny turd, I will tell you that. When I come home at lunch he screams and screams until I pick him up. Once I pick him up he looks at my mom and waves "bye bye" to her, basically saying, "ok, look, my mom is here, so now your shift is over and you can go!" It is so sweet! It isn't that he doesn't love my mom but he is SUCH a momma's boy. I remember the other two boys being that way but he is worse, by far! I love it but sometimes, it can be draining! He is so proud of all his new tricks. He claps now and when you say, "yah Bryson!", he drops EVERYTHING and starts to applaud himself. He has this new "shy" thing and if I am holding him and someone talks to him he grins and ducks his head or buries it in my shirt. I swear he is the biggest charmer ON EARTH! His personality is coming out in full bloom. Now his sleeping habits, well, that's another thing...last night at 11:00pm (mind you that I have to be at work at 7am) here I am laying in bed with Riley and Bryson and Bryson is waving his arms around and babbling and talking and REFUSES to take his bottle (because God forbid he might go to sleep!) I decide to just roll over and go to sleep and Bryson could "babble" himself to sleep. I roll over and Bryson decides he really likes my hair and pulls it over and over. Talk about irritating! If he weren't so darn cute!!!! If I ever fuss at Bryson or say, "you better go to sleep or I am going to put you in your bed and let you cry it out!" Riley jumps to his defense and says, "mom, he is fine, leave him alone, I will get him to sleep!" Kory on the other hand loves to say to me, "you should drug him!" if he won't sleep! I can't wait until he has his own children! I can hear him now, "bring on the Benadryl!!!" Check out this hilarious video of "Mr. Dramatic" and Riley enjoying some "computer time!"

Bryson's physical therapist has officially "dumped" him but she does come and see him at least once a month. I was sure she would be dissapointed that he wasn't crawling and such but honestly she was thrilled. She said she sees huge improvements and she was thrilled beyond belief that his tube was GONE! By the way, they came and picked up the machine a few days ago! We all gladly waved "goodbye"! I will say that sometimes it is easier for someone who has not seen him in a month to see his progress. I can now put him on the floor in a sitting up position and he can stay that way for a while. He just chooses to just bail out and dump himself on the floor so that he can roll to wherever he needs to go. It is no wonder that he doesn't crawl...he doesn't need to. He can roll and get wherever he wants.
We are still in plans for the huge birthday celebration! I am sooooo excited! Especially since we are doing so well and tube free and such. To be honest I am feeling more anxious and weird lately and I know it is because things are going so great that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I just haven't had this issue of "great health" in such a long time that honestly it freaks me out! It doesn't help that I read all these blogs. Let me tell you people, it is scary, there are so many VERY, VERY sick kids out there. I know I shouldn't read them but it is like a train wreck and I can't stop. I know I should be nothing but thankful that Bryson is so wonderful but it is just hard to get past some of the "shell shock". I really do sometimes have terrible flashbacks and thoughts that go out of control but I know that over time that will pass. It seems to happen mostly when I am not with Bryson, when I am at work. When I am with him I just see him, I never even notice his scars, not ever. I guess I just need me some "B time" and I am good to go! I hope you all get some good "B time" soon with his birthday coming up! I am sooooo excited! And just think, now that he eats, he can eat his cake. I feel like I can have my cake and eat it too now!!! :)